Rights of Husband
Allah TaAla has given great rights to the husband and has attached a lot of virtue to him. Pleasing
the husband and keeping him happy is a great act of ‘ibadah and displeasing him
or keeping him unhappy is a major sin.
- Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said: “The woman who offers her five times salat, fasts in the month of
Ramadan, protects her honour and respect, and obeys her husband has the choice
of entering jannah from whichever door she wishes to enter from.” This means
that from the eight doors of jannah she can enter through whichever door she
wishes without even having to knock on that door. - Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said: “The woman who passes away in such a state
that her husband is pleased with her will enter jannah.” -
Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said: “Were I to command anyone to prostrate to
anyone other than Allah, I would have commanded the woman to prostrate to her
husband. If the husband orders his wife to carry the boulders of one mountain to
the next mountain, and the boulders of the next mountain to a third mountain,
she will have to do this.” -
Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said: “When the husband calls his wife, she should go immediately to him even if
she is busy at her stove.” In other words, no matter how important a task she
may be busy with, she should leave it and go to him. -
Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said: “When a man calls his wife to engage in sexual
intercourse with him and she does not go and because of this he sleeps away
angrily, the angels continue cursing this woman till the morning.” -
Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said: “When a woman troubles or
displeases her husband in this world, the hûr of jannah that has been set aside
for him says: “May Allah curse you! Do not trouble him. He is your guest for a
few days. Soon he will leave you and come to me.” -
Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said: “There are three types of people whose salat
is not accepted, nor is any other good act of theirs accepted. One is a slave
who runs away from his master. The second is a woman whose husband is displeased
with her. The third is a person who is in a state of intoxication.” -
A person asked: “Who is the best woman?” Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam
replied: “The best woman is one who pleases her husband when he looks at her,
when he asks her to do something she obeys him, and she does not do anything
that may displease him with regard to his wealth and honour.”
One of the rights of the husband is that the wife should not keep any optional fasts nor
offer any optional salat in his presence without his permission. Among the
rights of the husband is that she should not remain in an untidy, dishevelled
state. Instead, she should always remain clean and beautiful for her husband. In
fact, if she remains untidy and dishevelled despite her husband ordering her to
remain clean, he has the right of beating her (lightly) in order that she may
obey him. Another right of the husband is that she should not leave the house
without his permission irrespective of whether it be the house of a friend,
relative or anyone else.
The Rights of Parents
1. You should not cause them any harm even if they commit any excesses.
- Respect and honour them in your speech and dealings with them.
-
Obey them in permissible acts.
-
If they are in need of money, assist them even if they are kafirs.
-
The following rights are due to parents after their death:
(a) Continue making duas of forgiveness and mercy for them. Continue sending rewards to them
in the form of optional acts of worship and charity on their behalf.
(b) Meet their friends and relatives in a friendly way and also assist them wherever
possible.
(c) If you have the finances, fulfil their unpaid debts and the
permissible bequests that they have made.
(d) When they pass away,
abstain from crying and wailing aloud or else their souls will be
troubled.
- According to the Shariah, the rights of the paternal and
maternal grandparents are similar to those of the parents and they should be
regarded as such. -
Similarly, the rights of the maternal and paternal
uncles and aunts are similar to those of the parents. This has been deduced from
certain Ahadith. (Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said: “The maternal
aunt has the status of one’s mother.” – Tirmidhi)
The wet-nurse
Meet her with respect. If she is in
need of money and you are able to help her, then help her.
The Step-mother
Since she is an associate of your
father, and we have been commanded to be kind and friendly to our parents’
associates, the step-mother, therefore, also has certain rights over you as
mentioned previously.
The elder brother
In the light of the Hadith, the elder brother is
similar to one’s father. From this we can deduce that the younger brother is
similar to one’s children. Based on this, they will have rights similar to those
of parents and children. The elder sister and the younger sister should also be
treated in the same manner.
Relatives
If any of your blood relatives is in need
and is unable to earn, help him out with his expenses according to your
financial position. Go and meet them occasionally. Do not cut-off relations with
them. In fact, even if they cause you harm, it will be best for you to exercise
patience.
The In-laws
In the Quran, Allah Ta’ala has mentioned the in-laws together with one’s lineage. We
learn from this that the father-in-law, mother-in-law, wife’s brother, sister’s
husband, son-in-law, daughter-in-law, the previous children of the wife, the
previous children of the husband – all of these have certain rights. Therefore,
you have to be more considerate to them as opposed to
others.
The Rights of Muslims
Overlook the faults of a Muslim.
When he cries, have mercy on him.
Conceal his shortcomings.
Accept his excuses.
Remove his difficulties.
Always be good to him.
Gaining his love is an accomplishment.
Fulfil his promises.
When he falls ill, visit him.
When he passes away, make dua for him.
Accept his invitation.
Accept his gifts.
When he shows kindness to you, show kindness to him in return.
Be grateful for
his favours upon you.
Help and assist him at the time of need.
Safeguard his family and children.
Assist him in his work.
Listen to his advice.
Accept his intercession.
Do not make him feel despondent over his ambitions.
When he sneezes and says “Alhamdulillah”, say “Yarhamukallah” in reply.
If you find a lost item of
his, return it to him.
Reply to his greeting.
When you converse with him, speak with humility and in a good manner.
Be kind and friendly to him.
When he takes an oath with regard to you, confident that you will
fulfil it, then you must fulfil it. (For example, Zayd takes an oath that Amr
never goes to the bazaar and he is confident that Amr will fulfil this oath of
his, then Amr must ensure that he does not act contrary to it.)
If anyone oppresses him, go to his assistance. If he oppresses someone, prevent him.
Be friendly to him and do not antagonize him.
Do not disgrace him.
Whatever you like for yourself, like for him as well.
When you meet him, make salam to him. If a man shakes the hand of a man, and a woman
shakes the hand of a woman, it will be even better.
If a quarrel takes place between the two of you, do not cut-off speaking to him for more than three days.
Do not have evil thoughts of him.
Do not be jealous of him
nor should you hate him.
Direct him towards good deeds and stop him from evil deeds.
Have mercy on the young and respect the elderly.
If there is a conflict between two Muslims, try and reconcile them.
Do not speak ill of him.
Do not cause him any loss; neither in his wealth nor in his honour.
If he is sitting, do not make him get up and take his place.
Rights of the Neighbour
Deal with him in a nice and friendly manner.
Protect the honour of his wife and children.
Occasionally you should send gifts to his house. Especially if he is poor. In such a case you
should definitely send some food to him.
Do not cause him any harm. Do
not quarrel with him over trivial matters.
Rights of the Traveling Companion
Just as a person has a neighbour at home, he also has a neighbour when travelling. That is, a
travelling companion with whom you embark on a journey or coincidentally joins
you during the course of the journey. The rights of such a person are similar to
those of a neighbour.
His rights can be summed up as follows: give
preference to his comfort over your own comfort. Some people display a lot of
selfishness with regard to other travellers when travelling by train or other
modes of public transportation. This is a very evil
habit.
Rights of the Weak and Old
Those people who are in need, such as orphans, widows,
the weak, the poor, the sick, the cripple, travellers, beggars, etc. have
additional rights. They are:
- You should help them financially.
- You should undertake their tasks with your own hands and legs.
- You should console and comfort them.
- You should not refuse to fulfill their needs and
wants.
Rights of Human beings
Do not cause financial or physical harm to innocent
people.
Do not argue with anyone without any valid Shar’i
reason.
If you find someone in problem, in poverty, or sick, help him,
feed him, treat his sickness.
When meting out punishment, do not
transgress the limits in the different methods of punishment that have been laid
down in the ShariAh.
Rights of Animals
Do not encage an animal which you will not be
taking any benefit from. Removing nestlings from their nests, causing harm to
their parents, etc. is a sign of extreme mercilessness.
An animal that is
suitable for consumption should not be killed merely for amusement.
You should make proper arrangements with regard to food, drink, providing rest, and
taking care for the animal that you utilise for your work. Do not impose any
work on it that is beyond its capacity, nor should you beat it more than
necessary.
The animal that is to be slaughtered or killed on account of
it being harmful should be slaughtered or killed quickly. Do not cause it any
agitation. Do not take its life after having starved it.
The Virtues and Rights of Marriage
1. It is mentioned in a Hadith that this world has been created to be utilised and that
of all the things that are utilised in this world, there is nothing better than
a pious woman. In other words, if a person is fortunate enough to get a pious
wife, it will be a great blessing. It is also a mercy from Allah Ta’ala that she
is actually a comfort for the husband and a means for his success in this world
and in the hereafter. A person enjoys comfort from such a woman for his worldly
needs and she also assists him in fulfilling his religious duties.
- It is mentioned in a Hadith that Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said:
“Marriage is my way and my sunnah.” “The one who does not act upon my sunnah is
not of me.” That is, there is no relationship between him and me. This is
actually a warning and a threat to the one who does not practice on the sunnah
and a mention of Rasulullah’s sallallahu alayhi wa sallam anger on such a
person. It is therefore necessary to be extremely cautious in this regard.
Furthermore, how can a Muslim bear to have Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa
sallam displeased with him for even a moment. May Allah Ta’ala grant us death
before that day comes when a Muslim is able to bear the displeasure of Allah and
His Rasûl sallallahu alayhi wa sallam.
It is mentioned in a Hadith that
Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said: “Marry so that I can be proud (of
your numbers) on the day of judgement over the other nations.” In other words,
Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam likes his ’ummah to be in large numbers
and more than the other nations. If this happens, his ’ummah will be carrying
out more good deeds, and in so doing he will receive more rewards and gain
closer proximity to Allah Ta’ala. This is because whoever from his ’ummah does
good deeds, does so through his teachings. Therefore, the more people who act on
his teachings, the more reward he will receive for conveying those teachings. We
also learn from this that whenever and however possible, we should undertake to
carry out those tasks and actions that will take us closer to Allah Ta’ala, and
that we should not display any laziness in this regard.
It is mentioned in a Hadith that on the day of judgement the people will be standing in 120
lines. Out of these, 40 lines of people will be from the other nations while 80
lines of people will be from the ’ummah of Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa
sallam. Glory be to Allah! How beloved Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam is
to Him.
The one who is able to (fulfil the rights of a wife) should
marry. As for the one who does not have sufficient wealth (to fulfil the rights
of a wife), he should fast. That is, he should fast so that there will be a
decrease in his desires. Fasting is actually a means of curbing his desires. If
a person does not have a very dire need for women, and instead has an average
need, and he is able to pay for her basic necessities, then nikah is
sunnat-e-mu’akkadah for such a person. As for the person who has a very urgent
need, nikah will be fard upon him. This is because there is a fear that he will
commit adultery and thereby get the sin of committing a haram act. If a person
has a very urgent need but is financially incapable of maintaining a wife, then
such a person must fast abundantly. Later, when he has sufficient funds to
maintain a wife, he must get married.
- It is mentioned in a Hadith that
children are the flowers of jannah. This means that the amount of joy and
happiness one will experience on seeing the flowers of paradise, that same
amount of joy and happiness is experienced when he looks at his children. And we
know fully well that children can only be obtained through marriage. -
It is mentioned in a Hadith that when the status of a person is increased in
jannah, he asks out of wonder: “How did I receive all this?” (That is, “How did
I receive such a high status when I hadn’t carried out so many good deeds to
deserve such a status?”) It will be said to this person that this high status is
on account of your children asking for forgiveness on your behalf. In other
words, your children had asked for forgiveness on your behalf. In return for
that, you have been accorded this status. -
It is mentioned that the child who is born out of a miscarriage (i.e. it is born before the due date)
will “fight”(wrangle) with its Creator when its parents are entered into
jahannam. In other words, this child will go to extremes in interceding on
behalf of its parents and will ask Allah Ta’ala to remove its parents from
jahannam. Through His bounty, Allah Ta’ala will accept the intercession of this
child and He will be soft and lenient towards it. It will be said to this child:
“O siqt (which means, miscarried foetus) who is quarrelling with its Lord! Enter
your parents into jannah.” So this child will draw its parents out of jahannam
with its navel cord and enter both of them into jannah. We learn from this, that
children of this sort, who are actually a by-product of marriage, will also be
of help in the hereafter. -
It is mentioned in a Hadith that when the
husband and wife look at each other (with love), Allah Ta’ala looks at both of
them with mercy. -
It is mentioned in a Hadith that Allah Ta’ala has
taken it upon Himself (i.e. out of His mercy, He as taken the responsibility) of
helping the person who gets married in order to attain purity from that which
Allah has made haram. In other words, the person who marries in order to save
himself from adultery with the intention of obeying Allah Ta’ala, Allah will
help and assist him in his expenses and other affairs. -
It is mentioned in a Hadith that two rakats of salat performed by a married person is better
than 82 rakats performed by an unmarried person. In another Hadith, 70 rakats
have been mentioned instead of 82 rakats. It is possible that this means that 70
rakats are written in favour of the person who fulfils the necessary rights of
his wife and family, and that 82 rakats are in favour of the person who apart
from fulfilling their necessary rights, serves them more with his life, wealth
and good habits. -
It is mentioned in a Hadith that it is a major sin
for a person to be neglectful with regard to those whom he is responsible for
(and to have shortcomings in fulfilling their needs). -
It is mentioned in a Hadith that Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said: “I have not left
behind any test and tribulation on men more harmful than women.” In other words,
of all the things that are harmful for men, women are the most harmful. This is
because, out of his love for a woman, a man loses all his senses, so much so
that he does not even take the commands and orders of Allah Ta’ala into
consideration. Therefore, a person must not fall in love with a woman in such a
way that he has to act contrary to the ShariAh. For example, her demands for her
food and clothing are more than what the husband can afford. In such
circumstances, never accept any bribes in order to supplement your present
income. Instead, give her from the halal earnings which Allah Ta’ala has blessed
you with. You should continue teaching your womenfolk and inculcate respect and
good manners in them. Do not allow them to become impudent and disrespectful.
The intellect of women is deficient; it is therefore incumbent to take special
measures in reforming them. -
It is mentioned in a Hadith that you
should not propose to a girl when your fellow Muslim brother has already
proposed to her until he gets married or gives up this proposal. In other words,
when a person has sent a proposal to a particular family and there is a
likelihood of their replying in the affirmative, another person should not send
a proposal to that same family. However, if they reject this first person, or he
himself changes his mind, or they are not too happy with him and are still
hesitant in giving a reply, it will be permissible for another person to send a
proposal for the same girl.
The same rule applies to the transactions of
buying and selling. That is, if a person is busy buying or selling something,
then as long as they do not separate or abandon the transaction, another person
should not enter into their transaction and should not offer a price above or
below that which has been already offered when there is an indication that they
are about to come to an agreement. Understand this well, and know that a kafir
is also included in this rule.
-
It is mentioned in a Hadith that a woman is either married because of her Din, her wealth or her beauty. Choose the
one with Din, may your hands become dusty. In other words, a man may prefer a
woman who is religiously inclined. While another may prefer one who is wealthy.
While yet another may prefer one who is beautiful. However, Rasulullah
sallallahu alayhi wa sallam says that one should choose a religiously inclined
woman and that it is preferable to marry such a woman. However, if the
circumstances are such that a woman is very pious but at the same time she is so
ugly that one’s nature does not find her acceptable and there is a fear that if
he marries such a woman there will be no mutual understanding between them, and
that he will be neglectful in fulfilling her rights, then in such a case he
should not marry such a woman. “May your hands become dusty” is an Arabic mode
of expression which is used on different occasions. In this context, it is meant
to create a yearning and a desire for a pious woman. -
It is mentioned in a Hadith that the best wife is one whose mahr is very simple. That is, it is
very easy for the man to fulfil her mahr. These days, there is the habit of
specifying a very high mahr. People should abstain from this. -
It is mentioned in a Hadith that you should look for a good place for your sperms
because a woman gives birth to children that resemble her brothers and sisters.
In other words, marry a woman who comes from a pious and noble family because
the children generally resemble the maternal relations. Although the father also
has some influence over the child’s resemblance, we learn from this Hadith that
the mother’s influence is greater. If the wife is from a disreputable and
irreligious family, the children who will be born will be similar to that
family. But if this is not so, then the children who will be born will be pious
and religious. -
It is mentioned in a Hadith that the greatest right
that a woman has to fulfil is to her husband, and that the greatest right that
he has to fulfil is to his mother. In other words, after the rights of Allah and
His Rasûl sallallahu alayhi wa sallam the woman has a very great right to fulfil
to her husband, so much so that the husband’s rights supersede the rights of her
parents. As for the man, after the rights of Allah and His Rasûl sallallahu
alayhi wa sallam, the greatest right that he has to fulfil is to his mother. We
learn from this that the right of the mother supersedes that of the
father. -
It is mentioned in a Hadith that if anyone of you wishes to
engage in sexual intercourse with his wife, he should recite the following
duA:
The virtue of this duA is that if a child is conceived through this
intercourse, shaytan will not be able to harm this child in any way. -
There is a lengthy Hadith in which Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam
addressed Abdur Rahman bin Auf radiyallahu anhu asking him to have a walimah
even if it is with one sheep. In other words, even if you possess very little,
you should spend. It is preferable to have the walimah after engaging in sexual
intercourse with one’s bride. However, many ulama have permitted it immediately
after the nikah as well. It is mustahab to have a walimah.